I miss Erma Bombeck. She died in 1996 and the
world has had fewer smiles since she has gone. She was one of the wittiest,
most thought provoking humorist to ever pound a keyboard.
I enjoy a sense of humor that is slightly off
center, random, subtle and cerebral. One that provokes wry smiles and amusement
rather than in your face belly laughs. I have a fantasy dinner party of Erma
Bombeck, Mark Twain, Garrison Keillor, George Carlin, Steven Wright, David Letterman, Jeff
Foxworthy, Scott Kelby, Bill Clinton, George Bush, and myself. Yes I have eclectic
taste and I’ll let you decide who is invited for the rest of us to make fun of.
Anyway, I think of Erma Bombeck every New Year. I
have since 1984. That was the year I read a piece in the NY Times that she wrote on the symbol of
the new year being a baby wearing a diaper, a top hat and a smile. It will
forever stick with me. I went searching and found it. Here it is. Enjoy.
Packing Lightly for a New Year
by Erma Bombeck January, 1984
For years I've studied the symbol of the New Year, a smiling baby wearing a diaper
and a top hat. Now I wonder... what does it mean? A beginning of life? A time
of innocence? A scenario for change? Then it hit me! For years I've been overdressed
for the New Year.
I always enter it with my shoulders bent, swabbed in all the ills of the previous
year. And when I can't wear it all on my body, I lug it along in heavy boxes
and suitcases, kicking it along with my foot to make sure all of it makes it
with me into the new year of my life.
Wrapped around my neck, for example, is a mantle of guilt. Some of it going back as far
as 1940. Guilt for the time my parents gave me a savings bond for my high
school graduation when I wanted a silver charm bracelet...... and I threw the
savings bond on the floor. That's an oldie, but a goodie.
Then there's the hair shirt of self pity. It's uncomfortable, but for years it's
provided me with enough ammunition to bring tears to the eyes of my husband and
my children.
The belt of prejudice is an old one and it encompasses everyone who does not agree
with every single word I have ever said. I feel naked without that belt.
The large foot locker contains anger. True, a lot of it doesn't fit
anymore; but I hang on to it just in case I'm caught short.
Adorning all of this are the jewels of frustration over things which I can never do
anything about...but I wear them like medals to torture myself.
And of course, the biggest piece of luggage contains old grudges. I
sift through them each year like old photographs and pressed flowers. There's
the critic who was unkind...the mistake made by a friend which I don't want to
forgive...the trust I gave that was abused...and the harsh words from a family
member that I refuse to forget. Grudges... many of them antiques... that I plan
on handing down to my children.
Each year of my life the load gets heavier and heavier to carry in to the new year.
Once, around March, I almost sank but stubbornly... I hung on to every bit of
my past.
Frankly, I don't know if I can face the new year without my clothes on. I don't know if
I can check in to this next year without luggage. Can I look at old friends and
see them for the first time? Can I forgive, really forgive? Can I keep my eyes
forward and not look back? Do I have the guts to emerge with nothing on... but
a top hat and a smile? I'm gonna try!
Me too! Thanks Erma. We miss you.
